Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
