Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
