evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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