Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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