Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
