quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
