Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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