dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
