I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
