my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
