she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
