She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
