My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
