Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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