She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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