I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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