at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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