I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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