i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
