barbara walters just said penis...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
