I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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