I didn't shave. On purpose
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
