trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
