also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
