it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
