So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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