the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
