Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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