cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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