woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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