I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize