we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
