Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
