At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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