he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
