You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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