stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
