we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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