It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
