Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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