Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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