UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
