i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
