I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
