I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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