I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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