I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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