remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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