I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
