When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
