he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
