I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize