Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
