Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
