Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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